Thanks for Watching Me
by EnsoDancer
Summary: A young Donatello has a mishap during practice, with his brothers and Father watching.


"Watch me, Father!"

"I am watching, my son."

"I can do it too, did you see?"

"Yes Raphael, I saw, well done."

"Me too, are you watching?"

"Yes, Michelangelo, I am watching."

Splinter smiled broadly as he watched three of his young students run across the board. He had set a two by four on the floor of their dojo and instructed the children how to walk across it, the beginnings of balance training. The four turtle tots had been attempting to move across the board for a few weeks at the end of their daily short practice sessions and it had become a game for them with just a touch of sibling competition. Despite being smallest of the four, Michelangelo had been the first to make it across without needing to hold Splinter's hands. The freckle faced tot had beamed with pride and Splinter had showered praise on the four and a half year old for his accomplishment. Not wanting to be upstaged by their kid brother, both Leo and Raph had also soon made it across without falling the few inches onto the soft intricately patterned rugs that covered their training space. However, Splinter had begun to become concerned with the mounting frustration shown by his third child who continued to struggle with the task. While Donatello had made it across at least once, he was far from consistent and the temperament of the normally amicable child had started to deteriorate with each failed attempt.

As Raph raised his foot to the board in order to run across again, he was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.

"Wait Raph, Donnie didn't get a turn yet," Little Leo admonished in his best six year old imitation of his Father.

Annoyed at his bossy older brother, Raph huffed under his breath but said nothing as he glanced at his Father whose look told him very clearly that refusing to take turns would only land him a trip to stand in the corner, or worse over Father's knee.

Stepping down, Raph backed away from the board and looked over at his younger brother who had been hanging back.

"Go on Donnie," Raph said a bit impatiently.

"Yay Donnie, you can do it!" Mikey clapped and cheered.

Donnie hesitated, his mouth suddenly dry and his chubby three fingered hands turning clammy. Looking over to his Father who sat seiza style across from the board, Donnie felt only more anxious as Splinter told him with a smile, "Go ahead my son, I am watching."

With the entire family's eyes on him, Donnie took a timid step toward the beam and placed his foot on it. Then with something less than grace he hoisted his other foot on top, placing its heel in front of the other's toes. Donnie's brow furrowed in concentration and he bit his lower lip as he took another cautious step. With his arms outstretched, he made steady progress across the board, much to Splinter's relief. However the feeling was premature. Half way across, Donnie began to wobble his steps less and less confident. Then like so many times before he tripped over his own feet and came crashing down, heels over head, to the floor.

Though unhurt, Donnie could not help the embarrassment that immediately flushed his face and the anger that flooded his little body. Without thinking, he reacted, letting the most forbidden word in his lexicon roll easily from his tongue.

"Chikushō!" he spouted, pounding his little fist into the floor.

The silence in their home was deafening as Mikey slapped his hands over his open mouth and both Raph and Leo simply stared with big eyes and shocked expressions. While Donnie was indeed gifted and knew more words than his brothers, this was a word they all knew was off limits. They had heard it only once from Splinter when Raph had wandered off and gotten lost and hurt in the maze of the sewer tunnels. Not understanding its meaning then, the turtle children had started to say the new word regularly when they were frustrated. That is until Father sat them down and explained that it was a mean word that even he shouldn't have used and that no one in their home, himself included, would be allowed to say it. No one had dared utter it since then, at least not in front of Father and as soon as it exited his mouth Donnie instantly regretted it. Not knowing what else to do and feeling tears prick his eyes, Donnie scrambled to his feet and started to run from the dojo. Leaving the dojo before being dismissed was another major no-no and before he had made it even half way to the door, Don felt his father's hand wrap firmly around his wrist. For a split second, Don considered pulling away or throwing a tantrum but even his just turned five year old brain was able to reason the insanity of that action. So he simply let himself be led back into the space where he was guided to sit next to his father. Miserable he sat silently, staring at the floor as tears flowed unhindered and leaving streaks down his face.

Once again sitting, Splinter called casually to his other stunned children, "Continue, our session is not yet finished."

Mikey, Raph and Leo looked at each other and sighed knowing their brother was gonna get it and there was nothing they could do about it, except comply with their father's orders.

Stepping up to the beam both Leo and Raph walked across with markedly less enthusiasm than before, all the fun from their game completely gone. Mikey also attempted another cross but fell, quite uncharacteristically, about half way across. And with a look of total innocence stood up and shrugged his shoulders. Splinter raised an eyebrow at his youngest but could not be sure the fall was false as Michelangelo was sincerely sensitive to the moods of his brothers and did have a particularly hard time focusing and performing well whenever there was some sort of unrest. A true fall or not, Splinter couldn't help but feel satisfaction at the strength of his sons' fraternal bond, though he kept his face neutral.

Once finished the students came to kneel in a line, as was the custom for beginnings and endings of dojo sessions, the four turtles bowed to their sensei. Splinter dismissed them saying, "That's it for today, you may go play for a while before lunch." Raph, Leo and Mikey then stood up to exit but a firm hand on his knee told Don silently that he was to stay right where he was. With a few sympathetic backward glances, Raph, Leo and Mikey left leaving their father and brother alone.

Focus still glued to the floor, Don fidgeted under his father's gaze. Reaching out, Splinter used his finger to gently lift his son's face toward him and waited until Donnie reluctantly lifted his eyes and looked at his father.

"What is wrong my son? Won't you talk to Father?" Splinter asked warmly.

With that Donnie's expression crumpled as he began to sob and ran, without hesitation, to his father who had opened his arms wide. Scooping the child up into a hug, Splinter stood and began to walk slowly from one end of the dojo to the other. Carrying Don on his hip and rubbing calming circles into his shell, Splinter hummed a Japanese lullaby for several minutes before Don was finally able to settle his breathing.

Once again sitting down, with Don in his lap, Splinter asked, "Now can you tell me why you got so upset?"

A little unsure, Donnie pressed his ear into his Father's furry chest and listened to Splinter's heartbeat and then whispered, "You were watching and I looked stupid."

Making eye contact, Splinter said kindly but firmly, "Donatello, you know I do not like words like that and the other one, you will watch your language. I won't give a third chance, do you understand?"

"Hai, Sensei, I'm sorry," Donnie offered sincerely.

"You are forgiven. Now that that is settled, please tell me why my watching your training bothers you?"

"Because it makes my insides wiggly."

"Hmm…," Splinter thought a moment about how to address his son, "Donatello, did you know that I once had a sensei too?"

"You did? Really?"

"Yes, and I sometimes got wiggly insides when my sensei was watching me, too."

"You did? Why? You know everything already."

"Oh, that is far from true," Splinter chuckled, "but I am wiser than I was then and I have realized something over time and especially since I have started to teach you and your brothers?"

"What is it? What did you real-lies?"

"I realized that having someone to watch, while it can be difficult at times, is truly a gift."

"A gift?" Donnie tried hard to wrap his mind around the concept.

"Yes, my son. You see, a sensei is a teacher, you can think of them as a special kind of watcher, someone who watches your progress over time; someone who gives you feedback so you can improve. But they are also someone who gives you praise when you do well. In a way a watcher shows their concern for you by watching. It shouldn't make us nervous but happy that someone is interested in our progress and wants us to be our best self."

"So you watch us so carefully because you're interested in us?"

"Well, my son, I have the special privilege of being not only your sensei but also your father. I watch you because I want to help you grow to fulfill your extraordinary destiny and most of all because I love you and your brothers very much. I will always be watching over you, in this life and beyond, so there is no need to be afraid or have a wiggly stomach. Alright?"

"Okay," Donnie nodded his head satisfied with his Father's logic.

"Now why don't you go play with your brothers, while I make lunch for us."

Donnie nodded happily and gave his father a warm smile and was rewarded in kind. Then wrapping his arms around Splinter's neck, Donnie gave his father the kind of unconditionally loving embrace only young children are capable of and whispered, "Thanks for watching me."

Owari

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Written as a gift for my watchers on Deviantart. I would, of course, like to also extend to my followers on FF as well. Thank you for all your comments and support!


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